Q. What inspired you to write your book, The Best of My Worst?
A:  There are numerous books on the market that offer advice that are repute with DO’s and DON’T’s regarding shidduch dating. My goal in writing my book, The Best of My Worst, was precisely NOT to review the quote unquote rules and regulations of shidduch dating, but merely to write a comfortable fun, relatable book of dating experiences--- something that I was unable to find in Judaica stores. I have gone out with many fine and good young men, but the ones that I wrote about were out of the ordinary and in many ways I felt that others would be able to relate because while speaking with my friends and cousins who are also in the shidduch parsha, we find that we share many similar experiences. It may be a different name or venue, but there is a running thread of similarity in the stories that we share about our dates. If our stories are relatable, chances are my stories are relatable to the larger public.

Q: Are there general principles that can be extracted from the book?
A: I pride myself that this book IS NOT a book of advice. It is a recounting of my experiences and sharing them with the reader. I offer no advice whatsoever. If someone gleans something from reading my book, it was not done on purpose! If anything, I hope that my book sends the message that if a date was boring or if you feel that it was a bad experience that this too shall pass. As it states in the last line of my book, “Please stay positive and always remember to pack your sense of humor along with your lipstick while running out the door for a date.” If that date isn’t your bashert, hopefully the next one will be, so just enjoy yourself and don’t take yourself so seriously. Everything will happen by Hashem’s will—b’sha’a tova and not a moment before. So just enjoy the ride.

Q: What was your worst date?
A:  To make a very long story short, my worst date involved the man telling me in the restaurant as we were being seated, “You took the better seat, now I have to look at you all night rather than look at others in the restaurant.” Later in the date, he started to sing with a homeless man. Then, while visiting a Barnes & Noble, my date and I were asked to leave because my date was dancing and making the other customers nervous. During the ride back to my house, my date told me that I was “okay looking, but not HOT!” These are just a few of the highlights of my worst date.

Q:  Does this book apply to girls in their twenties, thirties and forties or beyond or is it for a specific age range?

A:  I would not give my book to a girl who has never been on a date before. My book is geared towards anyone who has ever experienced a bad date. I have received many e-mails from very satisfied customers of all ages saying that they really enjoyed reading the book and it brought back memories that they had thought were forgotten. Many even ask if I can divulge the true identities of specific men in the book because they had such similar experiences that they think it is the same fellow that they had dated.

Q: Are you thinking of writing another book?

A: For the time being, I have walked away from my lap top. If I ever write another book, it will be after I become a kallah. I didn’t write this book as a start to a literary career. I wrote it to help everyone who is dating laugh at their situation and to turn what some people may think of a negative into a positive.

Q: Is it comforting to know, as you referenced in your book, that your cousins have had similar experiences?

A: Truthfully knowing that someone else has experienced a bad date is not a comfort, but what it tells me is that I am not alone and neither is anyone else. I know that a bad date can happen to anyone no matter who they are or what they are looking for. It also tells me that my experiences, as well as my cousin’s and friend’s experiences are relatable.

Q: Much has been written about the "shidduch crisis." Please share your thoughts on its main causes and any possible solutions.
A:  I really feel that the thrust of focus should be on the individual single person and their character, not on, "What color tablecloth do they have on Shabbos?" and "What town in Europe did the grandparents come from?" or "Does the family eat Snackers or Tam Tams?" There is no right answer to any of these questions and we have thousands of singles-- both men and women, sitting at home because someone didn't care for the color of a tablecloth. The questions make no sense. Don't ask a third grade teacher about a former student who is now 30. Ask a current co-worker or a current friend of the single about the person, not someone who knew the single ten years ago. Everyone must do their hishtadlus, but never lose sight of that fact that shiduchim are ultimately made by Hashem.

Ask Goldy any of your shidduch questions at bestofmyworst@hotmail.com.
Naftali Kleinman

Hi. I would like to get your book. Eichlers does not have it anymore.


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